LITTLE ROCK, AR — Local t-ball player Luther Haddox locked up his team's "Most Valuable Player" award after running somewhat in the general direction of first base.
After four innings of futility by both teams, Luther managed to wobble the ball off the tee and headed off in an easterly direction. Though he quickly abandoned the baseline, Luther's route still brought him a bit closer to first base, at least as the crow flies.
"Go Luther! You're kind of doing it!" yelled Luther's dad proudly. "Gosh, he looks like Corey Seager through all these happy tears."
As Luther tired out and began wandering towards the dugout in search of juice, chants of "M-V-P!" began to rain down on him. "Play of the year," said Luther's coach, welcoming him back to the dugout with a juice box and a high five. "Man. Watching Luther trot off towards the rough vicinity of first base - all the hours of practice have finally paid off."
At publishing time, Luther had come up against some stiff competition after teammate Devin came within a few feet of catching a ball in his glove.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.