These days, it can be hard to tell if the hospital you're at is also a staging ground for Islamist terrorists to commit mass murder! We at the Babylon Bee have assembled a list of ten subtle clues to help you discern if the hospital you're at is actually a Hamas base:

1. The doctors break out in cheers when someone dies: Not a good start.
2. The ambulance has a .50-cal machine gun mounted on top: It does clear traffic, but in a very Hamas-y manner.
3. The hospital offers to waive your bill if you strap on this cool vest: To be fair, we're told they do keep their word.
4. The gift shop sells "I'm sorry you've been taken hostage" balloons: Uh-oh.
5. The sound of small arms fire keeps coming from the Cancer Ward: Very unorthodox, those Hamas cancer treatments.
6. You got lost on the way to the cafeteria and ended up in an underground tunnel filled with rocket launchers: Not good!
7. The pediatric unit is labeled the "Human Shield Ward": Strong terrorist vibes.
8. The intake nurse checks your temperature, pulse, and circumcision status: Yikes.
9. The surgical assistant is a goat: And oh no, he's wearing Hamas' little green headband!
10. None of the doctors are Jewish: Pretty much a dead giveaway.

Spotting Hamas bases inside hospitals can be tough, but keep your eyes peeled for these hints!

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