VATICAN CITY — Following his public statement condemning the Trump administration's hardline immigration policies, a shocking new report indicated that 17 illegal immigrants had been found hiding under Pope Leo XIV's hat.
The incident occurred on the Vatican grounds on Friday morning, as the pontiff was going for a leisurely stroll. Witnesses said that a breeze momentarily knocked the pope's hat off his head, leading to multiple immigrants emerging from the mitre and scrambling away.
"It's amazing how many of them fit in there," one witness said. "It was like those tiny cars you see at the circus, but instead of clowns, it was single Muslim men of military age. They all climbed out of His Holiness's hat and took off running. They were yelling something, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Because they're foreigners."
The pope made headlines again this week after he voiced strong opposition to President Trump's border policies, though he made no mention of the large group of migrants living in his hat. "Ope! How did those get in there?" he reportedly said as the immigrants scampered away. "I was not aware that I had 17 people in there. There's a lot of room in my hat, so it's easy to lose track of things."
At publishing time, Vatican officials announced the construction of a small wall around the pope's hat so that immigrants could be prevented from entering while he continued his criticism of countries seeking to maintain strong national borders.
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