WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was rushed to an emergency bunker below the East Wing following reports that a member of Hamas breached the White House perimeter.
According to sources, the radical Islamic extremist claimed to have an appointment with the president, provoking a swift response from the Secret Service.
Witnesses reported that Secret Service agents swarmed the Oval Office and tackled the president to the ground, shouting, "Go, go, go! Fry Cook is secure!" before escorting him to the Presidential Emergency Operations Center. As he moved, Trump reportedly threw a defiant fist into the air and cried out, "Fight, fight, fight!"
"It all happened so fast," claimed White House intern Nathan Curtis. "I was bringing the president a Diet Coke when the Secret Service rushed in. It was just chaos. They knocked the drink out of my hand. The president is going to kill me."
Early details about the apparent attack were scarce, but White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt confirmed that the president is unharmed. "The president was rushed to an emergency bunker at approximately 2:15 this afternoon, when an Islamic extremist got past White House security," she said. "The White House is currently on lockdown until the Secret Service clears every room to make sure no further threat exists."
At publishing time, the Pentagon had responded to the incident by moving to DEFCON 3.
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