Investing your money is tough when your savings account can't even keep up with inflation. How are we supposed to avoid abject poverty? Fear no more lower-to-middle-class folks! Drawing on the wisdom of 12 wealthy investors, we uncovered strategies to help everyday people protect their wealth in times of uncertainty and inflation.
Try out these solid inflation-proof investments recommended by the one percent:
- Nancy Pelosi: Insider trading in Congress.
- Bill Gates: All the farmland. He owns it all now. It's probably nothing to worry about.
- Volodymyr Zelenksyy: World War III.
- Mark Zuckerberg: The hope that everyone on earth wants to strap a VR headset on their faces all day.
- Elon Musk: Babies. Children are our future!
- Madonna: Babies. Their stem cells keep her looking young and attractive.
- Joe Biden: World's largest collection of original art by Hunter Biden.
- Jeff Bezos: An underground volcano lair.
- Smaug: I AM FIRE! I AM DEATH!
- Tom Cruise: Aircraft carrier full of fighter jets.
- Richard Branson: More failed business ventures.
- Donald Trump: Donations to his reelection campaign. It'll be the greatest comeback in human history!
NOT SATIRE: With Joe Biden in office, digital currencies on the rise, sky-high inflation, and growing global tensions --- the U.S. dollar could plunge into decline. Now is the time to protect your money. Investing in precious metals such as gold and silver may be an ideal solution. These safe-haven assets are not only durable and predictable investments but also offer long-term protection from market volatility. Precious metals have been used for centuries to store value and maintain wealth. Now is the time to make sure your portfolio is diversified by incorporating them into your retirement strategy! Don't become another victim of bad economic policy and decisions! Take control back over your own financial future.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.