Brought to you by: ProLife Across America
The new Republican-controlled Congress is now in its fifth month, leaving millions of people who voted for them wondering when they might get around to… maybe… accomplishing some of the important things they campaigned on, like defunding popular baby-murder corporation Planned Parenthood.
The truth is, these things don't happen quickly for a variety of reasons. Here is a list of the top reasons why the GOP Congress hasn't defunded Planned Parenthood yet:
They realized they had to organize their junk drawers first: It's important to prioritize things correctly.
They were going to do it last week, but they had 847 fundraising events and just forgot: You can't spend time saving babies when there's money to be asked for.
If Planned Parenthood is defunded, it will be harder for their mistresses to get abortions: Congressmen would have to change their ways, which is a ridiculous expectation.
Making laws and stuff is hard: It requires showing up for work and knowing right from wrong and stuff. Bleh.
It will make liberals send money to Democrats, and Republicans might lose the midterms: Which would be a shame, because if you elect Republicans, they could defund Planned Parenthood.
They don't want this "defunding" stuff to catch on: What's next? Cutting funding for researching how coffee affects hamsters?
They were under the impression that all laws were just made by executive orders now: Wait, laws aren't just made by executive orders now?
They're still wrestling with the nuanced issue of whether murdering babies is bad: It's not that simple.
It's unreasonable for voters to expect legislators to actually "do stuff": They're elected officials, not hard workers.
Determining what to do with taxpayer funds is only 3% of what Congress does: It's a common misconception.
Don't worry, the Republicans will get around to it eventually. Maybe.
NOT SATIRE: Did you know a simple Billboard can help save a baby's life? It's true. So often, someone experiencing an unplanned pregnancy may not know about alternatives to abortion or that help is available. That's why PROLIFE Across AMERICA's Billboards have proven to be lifesaving.
All of our Ads feature our 800# Hotline for Help, which connects callers to pro-life centers nationwide. So often, our Ads may be the only sign of hope and help to those in need. Here's a recent caller: "I just saw your Billboard … I'm pregnant and I want to keep the baby, but the father of the baby has threatened me if I don't have an abortion." We were able to counsel and refer this woman to a local clinic for help.
The USA undeniably trumps our neighbors to the north.
