Catholics (and, to a lesser extent, Orthodox) like to sneer at Protestants, but being a Protestant comes with some amazing perks. For example, did you know you're basically your own pope? You can issue papal bulls about what to watch on TV or where to order food. It's great.
Here are 10 more amazing perks of Protestantism:
Way fewer statues: They're really creepy at night. Did that statue of Mary just move?
You can get marital counseling from someone who's actually married: How can Father Baxter possibly empathize with the number of Amazon packages you get?
You and Larry the Cucumber share the same faith: Who do Catholics have? Mel Gibson? Please.
95 more theses than Catholics: They have, what, one thesis? Boring.
Fewer shifty Italians hanging around the church: It's comforting when your church has a strong "no mafia" policy.
7 fewer books for your Bible in a year plan: You still won't finish, but it hurts less.
You have your choice of 50,000 denominations competing for your business instead of just the one big one: Sometimes it's just good to feel wanted.
Don't have some guy sitting in a heavily fortified city in Europe telling you to take in more immigrants: Just 30,000 dudes in skinny jeans saying that.
Everyone gets to wear a giant pointy hat if they want, instead of just one guy: We all like pointy hats.
Frickin' lasers: Just like they had at the Church in Ephesus.
No wonder Protestantism took off. Which perk is your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
