CHAPPAQUA, NY — A lifelong politician whose name appeared on the Epstein list was questioned today by other politicians whose names were on the Epstein list, sources confirmed.
Hillary Clinton was reportedly grilled by members of Congress investigating the crimes of deceased billionaire Jeffrey Epstein about her alleged involvement with the notorious sex trafficker while trying to ignore their own alleged involvement with the notorious sex trafficker.
According to sources, questioning by various committee members would encompass whether Clinton knew anyone else who had visited the island and whether she could keep her mouth shut about the committee members.
"We expect to hear almost nothing about the details of today's hearing, but we're here waiting outside the room anyway just in case," said local reporter Christine Franco of Channel 9 News. "Maybe someone will slip up. I don't know, I'm just spitballing here."
The former first lady and secretary of state was said to have traveled a grueling mile from her home to the Chappaqua Performing Arts Center, where members of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform had come to spare her from making the trek to the Capitol. "It just logistically makes more sense for the 46 committee members to fly to New York to avoid making one wealthy person come down to DC," said Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett.
At publishing time, Clinton, who had apparently been invited to the hearing under false pretenses, began to question whether or not there was ever going to be any animal sacrifice.
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