U.S. — Leaders of the Democratic Party have vowed to overturn 14 million votes in the Democratic primary and stage a coup d'etat against the sitting President in order to save democracy.
"We have to overrule the will of the people, because democracy is at stake," explained Representative Nancy Pelosi. "The democratically elected leader of our party must be destroyed, or else democracy will be lost once and for all."
According to sources, Democratic Party leaders have expressed anger at voters for being so dumb as to choose President Biden, creating this crisis. "How could those stupid voters not have not seen through the lies about Biden being fit to serve? Idiots!" said Chuck Schumer. "They got us into this mess, so it's up to us now to pull off an insurrection to get us out of it. For democracy."
Instead of allowing citizens to vote for their preferred candidate, the Democratic Party will instead have the most powerful and wealthy people on earth choose who should rule the people. "It's Democracy 101," said former President Barack Obama. "The wealthy elites must seize power to save democracy. If the people choose a bad candidate because they believed the lies you told about him, you don't just accept the will of the people. You stage a coup and overrule those idiots. Simple."
At publishing time, the billionaires who pay for Democratic Party campaigns had reminded them they were withholding money until Biden dropped out, so they better hurry up with the coup.
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