WILMINGTON, DE — With the successful military operation to topple the authoritarian Venezuelan government, former President Joe Biden was notified that he was being forced to pay Donald Trump the $25 million bounty his administration had put in place for capturing Nicolas Maduro.
In the waning days of his presidency, Biden increased the U.S. government's bounty on Maduro to $25 million, which the former president was informed he would now have to pay out personally to President Trump for bringing the dictator into custody.
"This is a bunch of malarkey, Jack," Biden reportedly said after being told to pay Trump. "I wasn't even the one who decided to raise the bounty. I wasn't the one in charge of any of that. I was just the president. Now, Trump gets the money. Can you believe that? The idea… that this… this… this dog-faced… the guy who… when all of the… he didn't even… didn't… anyway…"
Inside sources said Biden seemed unconcerned with being able to come up with the money to pay the bounty. "Get Hunter on the horn," Biden reportedly said. "Tell him the Big Guy needs his cut of the… his cut of the… of the… my share of the Ukrainian… the Ukrainian thing that… from that Ukrainian fella who gave us the… gave us… the stuff. Tell him to wire me some cash. Sell a painting if he has to. Tell him I need it before I go to bed at six o'clock. Breeharbingsarnit."
At publishing time, Biden had reportedly asked Trump's administration if the bounty payment could be made in the form of classified documents.
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