Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Bee Minus Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Bee Minus
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Bee Minus Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Skip to main content
‘No Thanks,’ Says Hungry Homeless Man After Being Offered Marshmallow Jello Salad - Article image
Life · Nov 28, 2025 · 50
‘No Thanks,’ Says Hungry Homeless Man After Being Offered Marshmallow Jello Salad

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - New reports indicated that local homeless man John Brill politely yet firmly refused a passerby's offer of free leftover marshmall...

Heaven Confirms People Who Prefer Ham At Thanksgiving Will Not Enter The Kingdom - Article image
Theology · Nov 26, 2025 · 89
Heaven Confirms People Who Prefer Ham At Thanksgiving Will Not Enter The Kingdom

HEAVEN - Celestial sources have recently confirmed that people who prefer ham to turkey at Thanksgiving will not enter the kingdom of God.

Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove - Article image
Scripture · Nov 28, 2025 · 36
Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove

OXFORD - One of the most well-known stories from the biblical gospels took on a whole new meaning this week, as a team of scholars revealed that they ...
Turkey Pardoned By Biden Administration 4 Times Commits Violent Turkey Murder
Turkey Pardoned By Biden Administration 4 Times Commits Violent Turkey Murder
Turkey Pardoned By Biden Administration 4 Times Commits Violent Turkey Murder - Featured article image
Crime · Nov 28, 2025 · 74

PORTLAND, OR - A turkey that had previously been pardoned by former President Joe Biden four times was reportedly arrested in connection with a violen...

Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year - Article image
Life · Nov 27, 2025 · 113
Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year

Conservatism may be the superior political ideology, but don't beat yourself up, liberals. There's still plenty to be thankful for this year.

Life · Nov 27, 2025 · 113
Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year

Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year - Featured article image
Conservatism may be the superior political ideology, but don't beat yourself up, liberals. There's still plenty to be thankful for this year.
Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove - Article image
Scripture · Nov 28, 2025 · 36
Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove

OXFORD - One of the most well-known stories from the biblical gospels took on a whole new meaning this week, as a team of scholars revealed that they ...

Subscriber Headlines

David Soothes Saul With Face-Melting Shred Of Favorite Psalm

Nov 19, 2025 | Dr_Madness


Trump Only Needs 1 More Peace Deal Before Getting Free Taco

Nov 25, 2025 | Festive North


Scholars Believe David's First Words To Bathsheba Were, 'May I Meet You?'

Nov 17, 2025 | SkullCrazes

Visit Forum

Babylon Bee Black Friday Babylon Bee Stream

Latest

View All
Family Holding Out Hope This Will Finally Be Thanksgiving Where Turkey Explodes In Epic Fireball - Article image
Family Holding Out Hope This Will Finally Be Thanksgiving Where Turkey Explodes In Epic Fireball
Family · Nov 26, 2025 · 58
Indians Politely Decline Taste Of Pilgrims' World-Famous Homemade Smallpox Casserole - Article image
Indians Politely Decline Taste Of Pilgrims' World-Famous Homemade Smallpox Casserole
Culture · Nov 26, 2025 · 56
‘That Ukraine-Russia Peace Deal? I Brokered It. Me!’ Marco Rubio Tells Everyone At Thanksgiving Kids' Table - Article image
‘That Ukraine-Russia Peace Deal? I Brokered It. Me!’ Marco Rubio Tells Everyone At Thanksgiving Kids' Table
U.S. · Nov 26, 2025 · 73
Mall Santa Prepares For Seasonal Gig By Cutting Off Ankle Monitor - Article image
Mall Santa Prepares For Seasonal Gig By Cutting Off Ankle Monitor
Life · Nov 25, 2025 · 54
Trump Reminds Americans To Give Thanks For Him This Holiday - Article image
Trump Reminds Americans To Give Thanks For Him This Holiday
U.S. · Nov 25, 2025 · 46
Experts Say AI Could Replace The Jobs Of Not Only Humans, But Also Lawyers - Article image
Experts Say AI Could Replace The Jobs Of Not Only Humans, But Also Lawyers
Tech · Nov 25, 2025 · 80

Buzzing

View All
Trump's Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated - Article image
U.S. · Nov 26, 2025 · 148
Trump's Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump's seemingly bulletproof strategy of choosing lawyers exclusively based on bust size has not worked out nearly as we...
Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal - Article image
Family · Nov 27, 2025 · 87
Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal

MOULTONBOROUGH, NH - To make the most of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Richardson family reportedly instituted helpful debate rules allowing for 2-min...
Reminder: If You Leave Your Kids Home Alone This Holiday Season, Make Sure They Have Plenty Of Paint Cans, Blowtorches, And A Cutout Of Michael Jordan - Article image
Family · Nov 27, 2025 · 54
Reminder: If You Leave Your Kids Home Alone This Holiday Season, Make Sure They Have Plenty Of Paint Cans, Blowtorches, And A Cutout Of Michael Jordan

U.S. - Authorities issued a public service announcement in time for the holiday season, reminding parents that if they leave their children home alone...
Jesus Heals Demon-Possessed Man By Taking Away His Smartphone - Article image
Scripture · Nov 24, 2025 · 64
Jesus Heals Demon-Possessed Man By Taking Away His Smartphone

CAPERNAUM - Residents of several nearby villages were abuzz with excitement this week, as the traveling carpenter-turned-teacher Jesus of Nazareth hea...

Must Read

Chicago Judge Hoping 23rd Time Is The Charm For Rehabilitating Violent Criminal - Article image
U.S. · Nov 25, 2025 · 111
Chicago Judge Hoping 23rd Time Is The Charm For Rehabilitating Violent Criminal

CHICAGO, IL - A Chicago judge ruled this week that a man previously arrested 23 times for various crimes would be totally rehabilitated if let off the...
Man Torn Between Learning New Board Game And Getting PhD In Quantum Physics - Article image
Life · Nov 25, 2025 · 75
Man Torn Between Learning New Board Game And Getting PhD In Quantum Physics

INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Sources close to local man Bradley Mudd say that the 28-year-old is currently torn between learning a new board game and getting hi...
10 More Groups Trump Is Designating As Terrorist Organizations - Article image
U.S. · Nov 24, 2025 · 86
10 More Groups Trump Is Designating As Terrorist Organizations

The Muslim Brotherhood was officially designated a terrorist organization by the Trump administration, but they weren't the only ones.
Nice Day Outdoors Drinking With The Boys Keeps Getting Interrupted By Having To Hit Little White Ball - Article image
Life · Nov 25, 2025 · 73
Nice Day Outdoors Drinking With The Boys Keeps Getting Interrupted By Having To Hit Little White Ball

SAN DIEGO, CA - What had started out as a perfectly enjoyable outing with friends turned sour today, as a local man's nice day outdoors drinking with ...

Don't Miss

In Stunning Blow To Democracy, Legislation Decided By Majority Of Elected Representatives - Article image
Politics · Dec 20, 2021 · 249
In Stunning Blow To Democracy, Legislation Decided By Majority Of Elected Representatives

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a catastrophic blow to democracy with disastrous consequences sure to ripple throughout the free world, a majority of democratic...
Biblical Age Of Accountability Raised To 30 For Millennials - Article image
Biblical Age Of Accountability Raised To 30 For Millennials
Christian Living · Dec 26, 2017 · 11
Nation's Raging Dumpster Fires Ask People To Stop Comparing Them To American Politics - Article image
Nation's Raging Dumpster Fires Ask People To Stop Comparing Them To American Politics
Politics · Sep 9, 2019 · 11
Mark Zuckerberg Promises To Do Better At Hiding Facebook's Data Mining Activities - Article image
Mark Zuckerberg Promises To Do Better At Hiding Facebook's Data Mining Activities
Internet · Mar 22, 2018 · 6
Cory Booker Moved To Tears During Participation Trophy Acceptance Speech - Article image
Cory Booker Moved To Tears During Participation Trophy Acceptance Speech
Politics · Jan 13, 2020 · 5
Navy Fighters Shoot Down Hostile UFO After It Refuses To Give Its Pronouns - Article image
Navy Fighters Shoot Down Hostile UFO After It Refuses To Give Its Pronouns
U.S. · May 18, 2021 · 75
Life Hack: Volunteer For Parking Lot Ministry And You'll Never Have To Hear Another Sermon For The Rest Of Your Days - Article image
Life Hack: Volunteer For Parking Lot Ministry And You'll Never Have To Hear Another Sermon For The Rest Of Your Days
Church · Mar 12, 2025 · 60

Premium Content

View All
New Video - The Buzz #026: Pilgrims and Indians - Article image
Premium · Nov 26, 2025 · 18
New Video - The Buzz #026: Pilgrims and Indians

The Bee crew is getting ready for Thanksgiving. Trump is undoing Autopen's turkey pardons, Wormtongue's X account was revealed to be based in Isengard...
New Video - Starving African Children Raise Money To Feed Ariana Grande - Article image
Premium · Nov 25, 2025 · 36
New Video - Starving African Children Raise Money To Feed Ariana Grande

This will move you to tears: a group of starving, emaciated African children raised money to help someone even more in need of nutrition than they: Ar...
Pilgrims, How Was Church? - Article image
Premium · Nov 24, 2025 · 47
Pilgrims, How Was Church?

It's that time of year where we all remember the story with the pilgrims coming to the new world, almost starving to death, and meeting the native Ame...
New Video - The Buzz #025: MKUltra Training - Article image
Premium · Nov 20, 2025 · 25
New Video - The Buzz #025: MKUltra Training

This week it looks like Trump has signed the bill to release the Epstein files, Skillet released a Christmas song that grandmas wish was more tame and...

Greatest Hits

View All
Answer These 3 Simple Questions And We'll Assign You A PERFECT Life Verse - Article image
Answer These 3 Simple Questions And We'll Assign You A PERFECT Life Verse
Christian Living · Apr 18, 2017 · 62
Biden Campaign Says He Is So Close To A VP Pick He Can Smell Her - Article image
Biden Campaign Says He Is So Close To A VP Pick He Can Smell Her
Politics · Aug 1, 2020 · 124
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship - Article image
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
Lifestyle · Jun 6, 2017 · 37
Georgia Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country, Later Clarifies He Actually Said 'My Pleasure' - Article image
Georgia Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country, Later Clarifies He Actually Said 'My Pleasure'
Christian Living · Jul 22, 2019 · 24
As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts - Article image
As Part Of Settlement With Nick Sandmann, CNN Hosts Must Wear MAGA Hats During All Broadcasts
Politics · Jan 8, 2020 · 10
Biden: 'I Am The Only Candidate Who Can Beat Ronald Reagan' - Article image
Biden: 'I Am The Only Candidate Who Can Beat Ronald Reagan'
Politics · Mar 2, 2020 · 20

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2025 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.