After Devastating Sexual Assault Allegations, Swalwell Now Leading Democratic Presidential Candidate

Politics · Apr 15, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — After a fifth woman came forward yesterday to accuse former Representative Eric Swalwell of sexual assault, Swalwell has hurtled into the lead of Democratic presidential candidates.

With the horrific details of the alleged assault coming to light, Swalwell quickly leapt past other contenders to become the Democratic Party's presumptive nominee.

"With several women now coming forward with accusations of increasingly violent sex crimes, Swalwell has taken a commanding lead," said longtime Democratic strategist David Axelrod. "Swalwell was looking like Senator material after a couple of women alleged that he acted in an inappropriate and possibly criminal manner. With five women now leveling accusations of really heinous crimes, Swalwell is now the clear front-runner for President. "

Swalwell's polling surged past Harris, Newsom and Buttigieg, with oddsmakers giving him an 87% chance of securing the nomination. "Newsom is going to have to do a lot better than serial adultery if he wants to get back in this," said Axelrod. "With more women coming forward every day, this is now Swalwell's race to lose. He's got a real chokehold on the nomination."

At publishing time, Hillary Clinton had called Swalwell to ask if he needed her to "do that stuff to the women" that she did for her husband Bill.


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