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Lakewood Church To Be Renamed 'DraftKings Arena' Following Branding Deal - Article image
Church · May 15, 2026 · 38
Lakewood Church To Be Renamed 'DraftKings Arena' Following Branding Deal

HOUSTON, TX - Lakewood Church officially announced that it would be changing its name to DraftKings Arena as part of a lucrative new branding deal.

Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs - Article image
Life · May 15, 2026 · 42
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs

FORT BEND, IN - After picking up a new pack of bulbs for the kitchen light fixture, local man Kyle Stephens was just 17 more trips to Home Depot away ...

We Asked AI To Show Us What Elon Musk's City On Mars Will Be Like - Article image
Lifestyle · May 13, 2026
We Asked AI To Show Us What Elon Musk's City On Mars Will Be Like

We asked AI to simulate what it will be like living in Elon Musk's city on Mars.
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible' - Featured article image
Media · May 15, 2026 · 47

NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time - Article image
Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 62
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...

Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 62
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time - Featured article image
U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...
We Asked AI To Show Us What Elon Musk's City On Mars Will Be Like - Article image
Lifestyle · May 13, 2026
We Asked AI To Show Us What Elon Musk's City On Mars Will Be Like

We asked AI to simulate what it will be like living in Elon Musk's city on Mars.

Subscriber Headlines

“And How Did This Quarter Get Behind Your Ear?” Asks Moses To Pharaoh’s Stunned Magicians

May 14, 2026 | BrotherTim


Beverly Hillbillies Move Back To Arkansas To Avoid California’s Billionaire Tax

May 11, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


Tolerant Liberal Lies In Bed Mulling Over Who To Hate Today

May 2, 2026 | Clogz

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Millennial Figures Out How To Use '6-7,' Signaling The End Of The Fad - Article image
Millennial Figures Out How To Use '6-7,' Signaling The End Of The Fad
Culture · May 15, 2026 · 41
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal - Article image
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal
Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 28
Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out - Article image
Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out
Sports · May 15, 2026 · 37
Report: CIA Raided By CIA - Article image
Report: CIA Raided By CIA
U.S. · May 15, 2026 · 29
Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name - Article image
Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name
Politics · May 14, 2026 · 39
Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using IPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games - Article image
Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using IPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games
Sports · May 14, 2026 · 30

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Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive - Article image
Politics · May 14, 2026 · 57
Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive

BEIJING - President Donald Trump's meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping was going swimmingly until Trump made a crucial (but common) error: gifti...
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running - Article image
Life · May 14, 2026 · 72
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running

TEMPE, AZ - After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family's Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry Ricks admitted that he has absolutely no clu...
The NYTimes Reveals: 7 More Shocking Things Israel Has Trained Animals To Do - Article image
Sponsored · May 13, 2026 · 57
The NYTimes Reveals: 7 More Shocking Things Israel Has Trained Animals To Do

As you may have heard, The New York Times revealed this week that Israel has a secret animal training program that literally teaches dogs how to water...
BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said 'I'm Fine' - Article image
Family · May 13, 2026 · 114
BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said 'I'm Fine'

AKRON, OH - Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge of a frown as she kept glancing at him, a...

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Man Helpfully Points Out To Wife That She Looks Tired - Article image
Family · May 14, 2026 · 48
Man Helpfully Points Out To Wife That She Looks Tired

TOPEKA, KS - Local hero Greg Miller was praised this week for his keen observation skills after courageously informing his wife, Sarah, that she looke...
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women - Article image
Media · May 12, 2026 · 105
'The View' Announces All-New Cast Of Angry, Middle-Aged Women

U.S. - Longtime daytime talk show "The View" has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of angry middle-aged women.
Conservative Too Exhausted To Form Opinion On Thomas Massie - Article image
Politics · May 14, 2026 · 48
Conservative Too Exhausted To Form Opinion On Thomas Massie

HOUSTON, TX - Local conservative Brady Jones admitted to friends this week that he was just too tired of political drama to have an opinion about what...
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work - Article image
Sponsored · May 12, 2026 · 43
9 Signs 'Lord of the Rings' Is Clearly A Pagan Work

While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is c...

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Gay Superman Will Use Super-Hearing To Listen For Fabulous Antiquing Deals - Article image
Comics · Oct 15, 2021 · 126
Gay Superman Will Use Super-Hearing To Listen For Fabulous Antiquing Deals

BURBANK, CA - DC Comics has announced that Superman's son, named Superman Jr., is gay. In the upcoming series of comics, Superman Jr. will settle down...
Cheer Up, Canada: Here Are 7 Things You're Still Better At Than America - Article image
Cheer Up, Canada: Here Are 7 Things You're Still Better At Than America
World · Feb 23, 2026 · 135
Nation Wonders Who The Heck These People Are With Enough Free Time To Scour The Internet For Old, Offensive Tweets - Article image
Nation Wonders Who The Heck These People Are With Enough Free Time To Scour The Internet For Old, Offensive Tweets
Worldviews · Aug 7, 2018 · 5
Thorn In Paul’s Flesh Revealed To Be Wham!’s ‘Last Christmas’ - Article image
Thorn In Paul’s Flesh Revealed To Be Wham!’s ‘Last Christmas’
Entertainment · Dec 2, 2016 · 10
I'll Dispense Soap When I'm Good And Ready - Op-Ed By Automatic Soap Dispenser - Article image
I'll Dispense Soap When I'm Good And Ready - Op-Ed By Automatic Soap Dispenser
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Wife Commits Seppuku In Shame After Failing To Clean Up Before Cleaning Lady Arrives - Article image
Wife Commits Seppuku In Shame After Failing To Clean Up Before Cleaning Lady Arrives
Family · Nov 21, 2024 · 84
Local Charismatic Gets Side Job Working As Wacky Inflatable AirDancer - Article image
Local Charismatic Gets Side Job Working As Wacky Inflatable AirDancer
Local · Sep 17, 2016 · 16

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Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition - Article image
Premium · May 5, 2026 · 44
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition

Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees - Article image
Premium · Apr 28, 2026 · 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees

Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 37
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...

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Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It - Article image
Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It
Politics · Jan 15, 2020 · 7
CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College - Article image
CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College
World · Oct 28, 2019 · 16
Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On Door Posts - Article image
Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On Door Posts
Christian Living · Mar 5, 2020 · 14
NBA Players Wear Special Lace Collars To Honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Article image
NBA Players Wear Special Lace Collars To Honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Politics · Sep 22, 2020 · 99
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns - Article image
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
Politics · Mar 10, 2020 · 16
Celebrities Show Solidarity With Protesters By Burning Their Own Homes To The Ground - Article image
Celebrities Show Solidarity With Protesters By Burning Their Own Homes To The Ground
Celebs · Jun 5, 2020 · 70

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