The Babylon Bee
Worldviews
· Nov 11, 2026
· 40
Baby Relieved He Made It Out Of The Womb Before Democrats Won Midterms
OVERLAND PARK, KS - A local baby was relieved to have narrowly avoided life-threatening danger last month by making it out of his mother's womb before...
U.S.
· Nov 11, 2026
· 33
Man Who Says He's Ready For Civil War Needs Wife's Permission To Go Golfing
BLOOMINGTON, MN - Local man Max Carter announced he is 100% ready for a civil war even though he needs his wife's permission to go golfing.
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Buzzing
World
· Nov 10, 2026
· 93
Is Your Girlfriend Actually A Chinese Spy? Know The Signs
We've all been there, men. You're waiting in line outside GameStop, minding your own business, when a gorgeous Chinese woman walks up and asks you to ...
Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 68
11 More Foods Esau Would Have Traded His Birthright For
Jacob's brother, Esau, famously traded away his birthright for a bowl of stew. That's right, stew. Nothing special, right? But there were reportedly s...
U.S.
· Nov 9, 2026
· 53
Heartbroken Eric Swalwell Learns Chinese Intelligence Has Been Seeing Other People
LIVERMORE, CA - Following the news that Chinese agents had been engaging in widespread "honeypot" operations across the United States for years, forme...
Politics
· Nov 10, 2026
· 55
Republicans Glad To Now Have Excuse For Not Getting Anything Done
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Contrary to popular belief, Republican lawmakers are reportedly glad that they lost the election because now they will have an excu...
Must Read
Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 36
Joseph’s Brothers Jealous Of His Vintage Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket
CANAAN - Tensions heightened in one prominent local family this week, as witnesses reported that Joseph's brothers had grown increasingly jealous of h...
Entertainment
· Nov 9, 2026
· 42
In Most Hilarious Bit Yet, Chappelle Brings Young Dad On Stage And Murders Him
NEW YORK, NY - In his most hilarious stand-up comedy bit yet, comedian Dave Chappelle brought a young dad up on stage and murdered him in cold blood.
U.S.
· Nov 9, 2026
· 51
Texas Adds Stars To State Flag To Represent All Six Genders
AUSTIN, TX - The state of Texas announced an update to its famous "Lone Star" flag, adding five more stars in order to represent all six genders.
Politics
· Nov 9, 2026
· 61
Trump Reassures Republicans He’ll Turn Things Around In Third Term
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With Republicans still reeling from the midterm shellacking last week, President Donald Trump assured them he would turn things aro...
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Premium
· Nov 10, 2026
· 51
DC Releases Improved Cut Of 'Supergirl' Where They Just Removed The Whole Movie And Replaced It With 'The Princess Bride'
Here's an article we wrote up but held off on publishing since the news cycle had already moved on from 'Supergirl.' Here it is as a Bonus Article for...
Premium
· Nov 9, 2026
· 90
Subscriber Polls: Why Did The Republicans Lose The Midterms In A Blue Tsunami?
Well it looks like last week's midterm election may result in a Senate with at least 54 Democrat senators and a House with at least 254 Democrat repre...
Premium
· Nov 6, 2026
· 25
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | November 6, 2026
It's been quite the week, but Friday has arrived at last! That means it's once again time for The Babylon Bee's Weekly Roundup - here are the biggest ...
Premium
· Nov 5, 2026
· 61
Office Buzz: 'Why Is *** Offensive?'
For writers like the intrepid journalists at The Babylon Bee, it sometimes looks like we're goofing around when what we're really doing is brainstormi...
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