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Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim - Article image
Christian Living · Mar 21, 2026 · 34
Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim

HEAVEN - After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside by Saint Peter and gently asked to please...

Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife - Article image
Family · Mar 21, 2026 · 45
Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife

HOUSTON, TX - Local man Matthew Coggins lit up a cigar this afternoon in a bid to feel terribly nauseous while simultaneously causing his wife to find...

10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris - Article image
Entertainment · Mar 20, 2026 · 90
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back ...
France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland
France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland
France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland - Featured article image
World · Mar 21, 2026 · 79

PARIS - French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its so...

Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again - Article image
Sports · Mar 22, 2024 · 73
Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again

OTTUMWA, IA - It's that time of year again when avid sports fans spend hours painstakingly making their predictions for the NCAA tournament so that a ...

Sports · Mar 22, 2024 · 73
Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again

Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again - Featured article image
OTTUMWA, IA - It's that time of year again when avid sports fans spend hours painstakingly making their predictions for the NCAA tournament so that a ...
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris - Article image
Entertainment · Mar 20, 2026 · 90
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back ...

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Kier Starmer Announces Anyone Who Says Britain Doesn’t Have Free Speech Will Be Arrested

Mar 15, 2026 | BaberahamLincoln


Parent Kind Of Scared To Ask Her Kid What He Learned At School Today

Mar 12, 2026 | Colton Man of Gondor


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Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe - Article image
Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
Worldviews · Mar 20, 2026 · 54
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet - Article image
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
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Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties - Article image
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
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Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel' On Every Puzzle - Article image
Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel' On Every Puzzle
Entertainment · Mar 19, 2026 · 79
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun - Article image
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun
Sports · Mar 19, 2026 · 71
Gay Ayatollah Excited After Receiving DM From Cute Guy Jamesmohammed O'Keefibad - Article image
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'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels - Article image
Celebs · Mar 20, 2026 · 64
'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels

HEAVEN - A group of seraphim guarding the gates of Heaven was terrified yesterday by the sudden appearance of legendary martial artist and action star...
Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments - Article image
Politics · Mar 19, 2026 · 116
Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments

California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it's hard to narrow down his long list of accomplishments.
Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby - Article image
Culture · Mar 20, 2026 · 56
Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby

SEATTLE, WA - According to sources, local man Richard Stevenson prefers to take his coffee cold and with milk like a little baby.
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects - Article image
Politics · Mar 20, 2026 · 51
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects

SACRAMENTO, CA - California's $250 billion study looking into why it has so many unfinished projects was abandoned while only half-finished, the gover...

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8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah - Article image
World · Mar 18, 2026 · 62
8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah

The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most...
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Sponsored · Dec 15, 2021 · 174
10 Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Leftist Child

First off, congratulations on raising a child already versed in progressive ideals! Your Christmas holiday is sure to be filled with joy, laughter, fe...
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build - Article image
U.S. · Mar 19, 2026 · 65
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build

LOS ANGELES, CA - California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of a public trash can that cost jus...
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World · Mar 16, 2026 · 88
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay

In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly c...

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Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax - Article image
Life · Mar 15, 2025 · 119
Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - Local single woman Michelle Denton continues to be perpetually stressed out as she sadly has no man around to tell her to relax.
January 6 Rioters Identify As Pedophiles So FBI Will Cover For Them And Look The Other Way - Article image
January 6 Rioters Identify As Pedophiles So FBI Will Cover For Them And Look The Other Way
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Trump: 'The Point Of A Trade War Isn't Who Wins Or Loses—It's Having A Good Time.' - Article image
Trump: 'The Point Of A Trade War Isn't Who Wins Or Loses—It's Having A Good Time.'
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Governor Whitmer Deploys Fleet Of Probe Droids To Catch People Violating Lockdown - Article image
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Ghost Of Beethoven Overjoyed To Hear Magnum Opus In Toothpaste Commercial - Article image
Ghost Of Beethoven Overjoyed To Hear Magnum Opus In Toothpaste Commercial
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New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 31
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News - Article image
Premium · Mar 10, 2026 · 30
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News

Secret Service interrupts the most handsome President of the United States of America in the world to share some explosive news - unfortunately, it's ...
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader - Article image
Premium · Mar 5, 2026 · 49
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader

The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Leader - wait, they have now anno...

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Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout - Article image
Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout
Politics · Jun 21, 2019 · 18
Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint - Article image
Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint
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Biden Says He Can't Wait To Find Out Who He Picked For VP - Article image
Biden Says He Can't Wait To Find Out Who He Picked For VP
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