The Babylon Bee
Worldviews
· Nov 11, 2026
· 44
Baby Relieved He Made It Out Of The Womb Before Democrats Won Midterms
OVERLAND PARK, KS - A local baby was relieved to have narrowly avoided life-threatening danger last month by making it out of his mother's womb before...
U.S.
· Nov 11, 2026
· 38
Man Who Says He's Ready For Civil War Needs Wife's Permission To Go Golfing
BLOOMINGTON, MN - Local man Max Carter announced he is 100% ready for a civil war even though he needs his wife's permission to go golfing.
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Buzzing
World
· Nov 10, 2026
· 94
Is Your Girlfriend Actually A Chinese Spy? Know The Signs
We've all been there, men. You're waiting in line outside GameStop, minding your own business, when a gorgeous Chinese woman walks up and asks you to ...
Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 68
11 More Foods Esau Would Have Traded His Birthright For
Jacob's brother, Esau, famously traded away his birthright for a bowl of stew. That's right, stew. Nothing special, right? But there were reportedly s...
Politics
· Nov 10, 2026
· 57
Republicans Glad To Now Have Excuse For Not Getting Anything Done
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Contrary to popular belief, Republican lawmakers are reportedly glad that they lost the election because now they will have an excu...
Theology
· Nov 10, 2026
· 63
Theologians Announce That All Of Creation Declares The Glory Of God Except For New Jersey
U.S. - Theologians have clarified that all of creation does declare the glory of God, but with the notable exception of New Jersey.
Must Read
U.S.
· Nov 9, 2026
· 53
Heartbroken Eric Swalwell Learns Chinese Intelligence Has Been Seeing Other People
LIVERMORE, CA - Following the news that Chinese agents had been engaging in widespread "honeypot" operations across the United States for years, forme...
Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 36
Joseph’s Brothers Jealous Of His Vintage Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket
CANAAN - Tensions heightened in one prominent local family this week, as witnesses reported that Joseph's brothers had grown increasingly jealous of h...
Politics
· Nov 9, 2026
· 63
Democrats Say They Now Have A Clear Mandate From Voters To Do All The Crazy Stuff They Never Mentioned In Their Campaigns
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democrats announced on Monday that they now have a clear mandate from voters to do all the crazy stuff they never mentioned in thei...
Entertainment
· Nov 9, 2026
· 42
In Most Hilarious Bit Yet, Chappelle Brings Young Dad On Stage And Murders Him
NEW YORK, NY - In his most hilarious stand-up comedy bit yet, comedian Dave Chappelle brought a young dad up on stage and murdered him in cold blood.
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Premium
· Nov 11, 2026
· 9
Happy Veterans Day - A Thank You From The Bee
Happy Veterans Day, Bee family!
Premium
· Nov 10, 2026
· 51
DC Releases Improved Cut Of 'Supergirl' Where They Just Removed The Whole Movie And Replaced It With 'The Princess Bride'
Here's an article we wrote up but held off on publishing since the news cycle had already moved on from 'Supergirl.' Here it is as a Bonus Article for...
Premium
· Nov 9, 2026
· 90
Subscriber Polls: Why Did The Republicans Lose The Midterms In A Blue Tsunami?
Well it looks like last week's midterm election may result in a Senate with at least 54 Democrat senators and a House with at least 254 Democrat repre...
Premium
· Nov 6, 2026
· 25
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | November 6, 2026
It's been quite the week, but Friday has arrived at last! That means it's once again time for The Babylon Bee's Weekly Roundup - here are the biggest ...
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