All right, fam — we 'bout to get things real. Pause the XBox, Brad.
A lot of people are talking right now about a guy who served for a few years, was rejected by his own people, then came back to rule and reign.
Well guess what, fam? There's someone else who was betrayed by some of his followers, got denied by people, and was even accused of trying to incite an insurrection. He came back not as President, but as King! I'm talking about the OG comeback, the real deal. I'm talking about Jesus.
And when Jesus came back, it was a landslide victory for real, yo. The map was all one color - no cap.
People stayed up waiting to see if Trump would win, but do you know who has already been declared victorious? Jesus. Every precinct on Heaven and on earth has already reported, fam. We don't have to wait on Arizona to finish counting - Christ is already on the throne!
Don't forget about who else is coming a second time, and for a way more important inauguration. I'm talking about the inauguration of the King of Kings, and it's gonna be straight bussin' fam.
Okay Brad — un-pause the XBox, and boot up the second coming of Halo. You're about to get crushed.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
