DAGOBAH — Jedi Master Yoda, living in self-imposed exile, proudly announced to his first visitor in decades that his pronouns are Him/He.

According to Imperial intelligence reports, Yoda pretended to be a random weirdo while he observed Rebellion Commander Luke Skywalker and tested his progressive thought before fully exposing himself as Jedi Master.

"Oh! Yoda! You seek Yoda!" Yoda had exclaimed. "Take you to him, I will. Him/He, his pronouns are."

"You know him?" demanded Skywalker, suddenly much more appreciative of the small creature who had just moments ago smacked his astromech droid with a stick for misgendering him.

Skywalker's patience quickly wore thin after accompanying Yoda to his hut where he enjoyed seeing the leader of Rogue Squadron try to fit inside his small dwelling. "Vegan stew, I make for you," Yoda laughed. "Eat! Eat!"

Skywalker snapped. "I don't even know what I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!"

"Full of bigotry, he is. Like his father," said Yoda, dropping all pretense. "Yoda, I am. Him/He, my pronouns are. Yet you have not told me yours. Train you, I cannot."

"No, I'm ready to be a Jedi. My pronouns are he/him! Really!"

At publishing time, Yoda had reluctantly begun training Luke Skywalker in the Jedi arts. The majority of his exercises reportedly involve diversity, equity, and inclusion classes.

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