ARLINGTON, TX — In an attempt to distance itself from its older NFL cousin and its "END RACISM" endzone decorations, the XFL has announced they will be adding their own endzone decorations that read "WE LOVE RACISM."
"The NFL has been losing viewers for years thanks partly to its slow pace of play and its insufferable wokeness. People don't want to be lectured when watching grown men tackle each other for a pigskin ball," said new owner Dany Garcia at a press conference. "We have a real opportunity here to embrace a fanbase the NFL has left behind: all those people who love racism!"
This change is just one of several the XFL is considering to draw a contrast between them and the NFL. Other initiatives being considered include hiring CREED to sing every national anthem, inviting Kid Rock to perform at every halftime show, and outlawing female refs.
"We hope this entices some people to come and watch our games," said Garcia. "Please. Please watch our games. We beg you."
At publishing time, the New York Times reported racism across the country was up 83% after the introduction of the endzone decorations.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
