BOULDER, CO — Local church drummer Sam Huddleston continues to make up for his stark lack of talent by playing with an incredible excess of volume.
Despite being totally bereft of any natural ability, Huddleston has learned to overcome his deficits by always playing at eardrum-shattering decibel levels.
"I may not be good, so I have to be loud," said Huddleston. "If I can't hit the crash cymbal at the right time, that's okay. I make up for it by hitting the absolute crap out of it. I do not have what you call 'rhythm,' so I just swing my drumsticks like a sledgehammer."
According to sources at Redeemer Church of Boulder, Huddleston has an incredibly accurate assessment of his musical giftings. "He has no skill and is really, really loud. It's all true," said local member Paige Moore. "Admittedly, you can't quite tell what the beat is supposed to be because there's so much banging happening, so I guess his strategy is working."
At publishing time, the church bassist admitted that he makes up for his lack of skill by being totally silent.
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