Worship Leader Suffers Devastating Injury Attempting 'F' Chord
Church · Jan 24, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

JOPLIN, MO — What began as a routine church service ended in catastrophe as a local worship leader suffered a devastating injury while attempting to play an "F" chord on the guitar.

Members of the church's congregation reported that the worship leader had grown more ambitious than usual and selected a song that required him to venture out of his standard C-D-G comfort zone before letting out an anguished cry when attempting to hit an "F" chord.

"It really shook us up to see him go down like that," said one witness. "We were enjoying a sweet time of worship, then he started playing ‘In Christ Alone.' Next thing we knew, he screamed out in pain and crumpled to the floor. We heard him shouting ‘My hand! My hand!' as a couple of ushers carried him out of the sanctuary. It looked pretty gruesome."

The worship leader was taken to a local hospital, where he was being treated for crippling injuries to his fretting hand. Though the prognosis was uncertain, the attending physician expressed doubt that the worship leader would be able to return to playing any time in the foreseeable future. "He tried so hard, he ruptured his spleen," the doctor said. "Those bar chords can be a killer. He's lucky to be alive."

At publishing time, the church issued a press release stating the worship leader had been placed on the injured list and was expected to miss four to six weeks.

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