WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump has approved a measure normalizing once again the practice of calling female employees ‘Toots'.
"All this political correctness made our work environments no fun, but that ends today," Trump said at a press conference. "I'm announcing an initiative to normalize to practice of calling all these incredible, beautiful female coworkers ‘Toots' again. I will also allow 'Sweetheart' and 'Dollface.'"
Several surveys of men showed America's male workforce overwhelmingly support the initiative and are working to implement the ideas immediately.
"Today I saw a female coworker at her desk and I said ‘Hey Toots, you're too pretty to be sitting behind that typewriter all day. How about some coffee?'" Accountant Mark Renton said. "She looked at me with shock but I knew deep down she loved it. America is so back!"
At publishing time, Trump had also announced its's now ok to smoke cigarettes in board rooms again and mandated that all female workers must wear those awesome pencil skirt business suits from the 1960s.
Meet Devyn. The 16-year-old Chick-fil-A worker who has replaced the entire government.
