CIRITH UNGOL — The One Ring must be returned to its rightful owner, The Dark Lord Sauron, a Sauron-appointed judge ruled this week.
"The Ring was taken from Sauron by Isildur's hand, which makes it stolen property," Lord Elrond of Rivendell said in response to the court's order. "We have no choice but to return it and be destroyed."
"Our hands are tied here."
The One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom, was stolen from his person by Isildur during the Battle of Dagorlad. Now legal experts say that terrible injustice is finally being made right.
Sources say an appeal by Frodo, also known as the Ring-bearer, is unlikely to succeed.
"No one is above the law, not even halflings," Judge Shagrath said according to official court transcripts. "Whiteskins have no right to keep it."
Though he bears a reputation for ruling against the race of Men and Elves, Shagrat maintains his integrity in light of this perceived bias, claiming he has no choice but to do the bidding of Sauron and bring about an end to the race of Men.
At publishing time, the free peoples of Middle-Earth were destroyed.
This is a 100% accurate depiction of how the best experts designed the legendary USDA Food Pyramid.
