U.S. — Women across America honored the passing of feminist icon Gloria Steinem by dropping their kids off at daycare and heading to work for 9 hours at jobs they all claim to hate.
The mood was somber as women separated their offspring from their sides and started another long day of working jobs they wish they didn't have. Many sang praises to the late feminist as they spent another workday sitting at their desks.
"I'm glad I don't have to stay home with my kids," Tiffany Johnson said. "What would I be doing right now? Making pancakes for my toddlers while we sing 'The Wheels on the Bus'? That sounds… oh, here comes Janice from accounting with more of those stupid forms I've got to fill out today."
Throughout her life, Steinem championed women in the workplace and encouraged women to give up lives at home in exchange for the opportunity to get up early, fight traffic, drop the kids off at a strip mall daycare, and work at jobs they'll inevitably grow to hate and resent.
"This is the best way to remember her legacy," HR representative Mary Thompson said. "Sure, my kids are starting to forget my name, but I get the privilege of dealing with a dozen little work dramas every day and in the end, isn't that what really matters?"
At publishing time, women had also been observed honoring Steinem's life by divorcing their husbands and living carefree lives as insufferable perpetual adult teenagers.
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