Texas Woman Wishes There Were Some Activity She Could Abstain From To Be Sure She Won't Get Pregnant
Worldviews · Sep 2, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

DALLAS, TX - As new restrictions on abortion go into effect in Texas, more and more concerned residents are speaking out about their loss of abortion access. We caught up with Dallas resident Debbie Woods to discuss the impact of the new law on her life.
"I probably get four or five abortions a year, so this will definitely impact me directly," Woods said. "I just can't have a kid right now. I'm sleeping over at a different guy's house like five nights a week. Nobody's going to want to hook up with me if I've got a baby in tow!" 

Woods says she's been racking her brain for days trying to think of a solution to her predicament. "I wish there was some activity I could abstain from in order to not get pregnant," she said. "I mean, I eat right, I exercise, and I even floss daily no matter whose house I'm sleeping at. I just can't figure out what's causing my unwanted pregnancies!"
In addition to cutting something out of her life, Woods said she's open to other alternative pregnancy prevention ideas. "It would be great if stores sold products that could keep you from getting pregnant in the first place," Woods added. "Something that responsible people would make sure to use during whatever activity is causing pregnancy to block it from ever happening."

"But alas."


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