DERBY, KY—Democratic leaders are moving swiftly to counter rapidly growing misinformation that has led countless right-wing nut jobs into ingesting something that has been prescribed for horses for millennia: water.
To counter the rampant misinformation propagated by pro-water extremists, Democrats now refuse to drink water and urge other progressively minded Americans to follow suit.
“Not only is water prescribed for horses, they actually need water to survive.” Said local Democrat Thurl Turdleburd, standing guard outside of the town’s livestock shop. “With idiots emptying the farm supply store shelves of this precious product, millions of horse lives are now at risk.”
When asked if his refusal to drink water paralleled the left’s reaction to the widespread off-label use of Ivermectin to fight COVID-19, backed by over 50 promising studies, decades of safety data, and billions of doses given in third-world countries to eradicate horrifying diseases in humans, Mr. Turdleburd’s eyes glazed over. He then looked to the sky and yelled, “Science!”
Republicans are now leading a reactionary campaign in reaction to the reaction of Democrats. Leaders are rallying patriots to not only drink water that is prescribed for horses but to also sleep standing up and poop in their yards.