New Mask For Democratic Politicians Automatically Goes Up When A Camera Is Around
U.S.

U.S.—An innovative new battery-powered mask for Democratic politicians will automatically deploy whenever it detects a camera around. Dubbed the AutoMask, the mask uses advanced camera lens detection technology to recognize when a Democrat congressman, governor, senator, or president is being filmed. Then, the battery-powered, spring-loaded mask flies up to make it look like the politician was wearing the mask all along.

"This will save Democrat politicians a lot of time fumbling to get their mask up when they see someone recording them or walk into a press conference," said the inventor of the mask, Dr. Gryll Mandy. "We're talking instant deployment -- it's so fast that it's invisible to the human eye, so no one will know that it has been down all day."

According to the company, AutoMask, the mask is spring-loaded and will instantly fly up to cover the politician's face as soon as any filming is detected. This way, their loyal followers will believe they are always following the science and wearing a mask, even though they literally only have it on for press conferences.

"If you're at a party with a bunch of elites, the mask will stay down," said Mandy. "If you're at a photo op cleaning up homeless encampments or lecturing your constituents on your new arbitrary health guidelines, the mask will go right up. And they'll be none the wiser."

Dr. Fauci has endorsed the product and will be appearing on television spots promoting the AutoMask -- with his mask up, of course.

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