Wokeness Strikes Again: Nintendo Just Confirmed That In 'Breath Of The Wild 2' Zelda Will Be A Girl
Entertainment · Mar 17, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

HERE WE GO AGAIN.

We all thought Nintendo was safe from all the wokeness going around -- but no longer. In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, the company confirmed that in Breath of the Wild 2, Zelda will be a girl.

So ridiculous. But that's just the clown world we're living in. They're coming for all our strong male heroes. Why can't they just write a strong female character instead of turning all our favorite male heroes into women?

Every boy grew up wanting to be Zelda -- to take hold of the Master Sword, don his green cap and boots, and go off to do battle against Ganon and save the princess. Now, boys don't have that hero to look up to anymore, because WOKE NINTENDO is GENDER-SWAPPING him into a girl.

It doesn't even make sense!!!! Girls don't have the upper body strength to break into a stranger's home and break all their pots. UGH.

You think THIS is bad? Well, at the end of the presentation, they also announced that Samus Aran will be rebooted as a chick in Metroid Prime 4.

I'm done with Nintendo, and you should be too. Enough is enough!!!


Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

Watch Santa's retirement announcement

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