U.S. - The New York Times has confirmed the authenticity of Hunter Biden's laptop story, leaving many Americans wishing there was some way they could have known about this before the 2020 election.
"If only there was some kind of system in America designed to expose crimes and corruption and put it on, like, a TV or something," said Bob Billybale, local American. "Then we could make informed decisions about who we vote for. Someone should invent something like that."
In confirming the authenticity of the laptop, the New York Times confirmed Hunter Biden's engagement in underage sex trafficking, abuse, felony drug use, corrupt multi-million dollar deals with foreign governments to enrich himself and his Dad Joe Biden, money laundering for the President, and really bad teeth. Yikes!
"Wow, this Biden guy seems like bad news," said Billybale. "I probably shouldn't have voted for him like the people on the TV told me to. Are we sure those people on the TV know what they're doin'?"
Sources say many Americans hope to vote for someone else in the next election, as long as they can afford gas to get to the polls.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
