Worldviews
Woke Parents Refuse To Assume Newborn Baby's Nutrition Preferences

PORTLAND, OR—A couple describing themselves as "woke" confirmed Wednesday they are refusing to assume their newborn baby's nutrition preferences.

The proud parents won't force their ideas and assumptions about nutrition on the infant and will instead wait until the baby vocalizes her food preferences before feeding her.

Speaking to The Huffington Post, the parents explained their decision. "Way too many parents assume their infant is going to want mom's milk or formula, rather than allowing the child to decide what they like to eat when the time is right," said the father as his newborn cried loudly in the background. "It's sad that we live in a world where the parents act like they know better than the child by forcing them to eat, as though that's good for them or something."

Soon after the baby was born, the parents set the newborn in the middle of a room, surrounded by various food options: Taco Bell, formula, Takis Fuego chips, and a delicious filet mignon, among other options. Although the baby did seem to perk up when an In-N-Out burger was placed nearby, otherwise she just continued to cry.

"She just kept right on bawling, which goes to show she's just not ready to decide her food consuming identity yet," the mom said. "And that's fine with us. Who are we to tell her what's best for her?"

At publishing time, the baby had been taken by Protective Services personnel.

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