Family
Wife's Side Of The Bed Obviously Gerrymandered

MADISON, WI—The Wisconsin State Legislature has been asked to redraw a small district on the west side of Madison. Local husband Chad Harrison says the district has been drawn unfairly on the queen-size bed he and his wife sleep on, and it gives her almost all the good parts of the bed. 

Harrison sleeps on the couch, so he has little room to talk, since his district is mostly drawn there and he gets all the good parts of the living room. However, his argument has been taken up by lawmakers in Madison who are soon to begin work redrawing districts statewide.

“We think it’s important to redraw these districts fairly so nobody has an unfair bed or blanket advantage,” explained Speaker of the Assembly Robin Vos. “We see in the Harrison household that the woman has a clear advantage on the map. Look at this ridiculous map! She’s almost got the whole bed! My best guess is that she’s a Democrat too, and that’s just not going to fly.”

Lawmakers sat down with the couple last week to discuss the redistricting. After Mr. and Mrs. Harrison argued for about 45 minutes regarding subjects completely unrelated to the redistricting, they agreed that Mrs. Harrison could have the whole bed, and Mr. Harrison would just live in the basement. 

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