TOLEDO, OH—According to multiple sources, local wife Kelley Joelson finished cleaning the kitchen after her husband Barry told her he had cleaned the kitchen.
“It was difficult at first, accepting the harsh truth that men are seemingly incapable of cleaning kitchens or putting clothes in laundry baskets,” said Kelley as she scrubbed the twelve pans her husband had left in the sink to soak. “But I soon learned that we each have innate skills that complement one another. For example, I slave away all day cleaning the house, and he emerges from his den every once in a while to open a jar of pickles!"
According to experts, men and women typically have different understandings of what constitutes "clean." While women clean and beautify every environment they find themselves in all the time, men typically don't think to pick something up or clean something until there is visible mold growing on it.
Refolding her husband's clean laundry at lightning speed, Kelley recounted efforts to teach her husband how to clean things when they were newly married, “After a few difficult weeks, I came to accept the fact that men have a medical condition depriving them of the ability to recognize clutter, filth, or disarray. Men are born that way.”
Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns - so he's a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.