ST. PAUL, MN — Shoppers observed a woman frantically buying up all pumpkin-shaped kitchen items at a local Home Goods store this week after falling for the oldest "You Have This But It's Not Shaped Like An Adorable Fall Pumpkin" marketing trick in the book.
Jody Harker could be seen rummaging through the aisles of merchandise, looking for fall-themed items she considered totally necessary for her kitchen inventory. "I know I have a salt and pepper shaker set but this one looks like two halves of a pumpkin and when you put them together they make a WHOLE PUMPKIN! I need this."
Harker picked up a mixing bowl set identical to one she owned at home except this one had "Give Thanks" and "I Love Fall" written on the sides of the bowls so into the cart it went.
"When Jody gets that look in her eyes I know it's best to just step aside and let the frenzy happen," Dave Harker told reporters. "Christmas is just around the corner and we'll be back here soon enough buying up all the stuff shaped like Santa's Hat and snowflakes and whatever. Best to just let it run its course."
For her part, Jody admits the pumpkin-shaped measuring cups are a little gimmicky and that she has a perfectly functional set back in her own kitchen, but she did make it home with $154.97 worth of other fall paraphernalia that she'll have to store 10 months out of the year and will eventually donate to Goodwill.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
