Wife Begins Molting From Layers Of Blankets In Preparation For Spring
Life · Mar 14, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

GRAIN VALLEY, MO — Isn't nature amazing? In what has become an annual tradition and one of the first signs of the arrival of spring, a local wife has begun the arduous process of molting the many layers of blankets she has built up around her body over the course of the long winter.

"Observe the humble wife, who, after spending the cold winter months cocooned in multiple layers of heavy blankets, is now preparing to emerge, once again, into the world," said Ben Casey while quietly observing his wife Lora with an expression of wonderment on his face. "This yearly ritual signals the husband to pull out the deck furniture and re-seed the lawn. It's a rare sight, and the surest sign in all of nature that spring is coming."

Sources say Lora began the tradition years ago during an unusually cold winter in which the Casey family's home lost electricity due to an ice storm. Going without heat for three days, Lora improvised by finding every sherpa blanket in the home (37 of them) and burrowing deep underneath them. "She still manages to function somehow," Ben said. "We'll see the walking column of blankets moving throughout the house, cooking and cleaning. Truly one of the most awe-inspiring sights in the animal kingdom."

Though meteorology has made several advancements over the years, Lora's shedding of her blankets has become a far more accurate indication that spring is coming soon. "I don't listen to weathermen on the news, pay attention to calendars, or care what a groundhog does," said Ben. "When I see Lora molt her last blanket, that's when I know it's officially spring."

At publishing time, Ben was expecting at least a few weeks of his wife enjoying spring before she would start complaining about how hot it was getting outside.


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