Why Don't The Players Just Run Around Everyone? -- Op-Ed By Your Wife
Op-Ed ยท Feb 13, 2022

I've been watching football for a considerable amount of time -- the last three hours, more specifically -- and something doesn't quite add up for me.

The players often take the ball and dive straight up the middle, where there are other, bigger players ready to stop them. But this is what gets me -- there's a ton of space all around the players they could use to just run around all the bad guys.

What gives?

It seems like a surefire strategy to take the ball and run where there AREN'T opposing players, instead of taking the ball and running where there ARE opposing players. It seems really basic. And I'm just not sure why the teams haven't realized this yet.

It's probably just because they haven't had the input of a smart, strong, independent woman like me. But no matter what the reason, the teams would score way more goals if they'd just run around everyone. I've got a call in with the manager of both the Bengals and the Rams. I'll update this post for you guys if they get back to me.


Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.

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