It can be difficult to find a good Father's Day gift for your dad. In order to help you this year, The Babylon Bee conducted extensive research and compiled the following list to help you understand common differences between what dads actually want and what they usually end up getting:
What Dad Gets: A new set of power tools
What Dad Wants: Mom to stop coming up with new home-improvement projects
What Dad Gets: Socks
What Dad Wants: An armed and fully functional World War II-era battleship
What Dad Gets: A Father's Day card
What Dad Wants: A Father's Day car
What Dad Gets: A biography of Julius Caesar
What Dad Wants: To be Julius Caesar
What Dad Gets: A generic "Best Dad Ever" t-shirt from some random place
What Dad Wants: A based "Dad Is the Best" t-shirt from The Babylon Bee
What Dad Gets: A bacon-themed necktie
What Dad Wants: Bacon
What Dad Gets: Shaving kit
What Dad Wants: A full pirate beard
What Dad Gets: A set of grilling tongs and spatula
What Dad Wants: A mysterious wizard to knock on the door and recruit him to go on an adventure to retrieve the red crystal and save the world
What Dad Gets: A baseball cap with all the kids' faces on it
What Dad Wants: A full suit of Roman legionary armor
What Dad Gets: A Top Golf gift card
What He Wants: An 850-acre ranch in Montana
What Dad Gets: A subscription to The Onion
What He Wants: A subscription to The Babylon Bee
What Dad Gets: Breakfast in bed
What He Wants: Breakfast in bed on a 19th-century British warship during the Napoleonic Wars
Hopefully, this will help give you a window into your dad's mind. Now be a good kid and go get him that battleship.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
