What Dads Get for Father's Day vs. What They Actually Want
Family · Jun 14, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

It can be difficult to find a good Father's Day gift for your dad. In order to help you this year, The Babylon Bee conducted extensive research and compiled the following list to help you understand common differences between what dads actually want and what they usually end up getting:

What Dad Gets: A new set of power tools

What Dad Wants: Mom to stop coming up with new home-improvement projects


What Dad Gets: Socks

What Dad Wants: An armed and fully functional World War II-era battleship


What Dad Gets: A Father's Day card

What Dad Wants: A Father's Day car


What Dad Gets: A biography of Julius Caesar

What Dad Wants: To be Julius Caesar


What Dad Gets: A generic "Best Dad Ever" t-shirt from some random place

What Dad Wants: A based "Dad Is the Best" t-shirt from The Babylon Bee


What Dad Gets: A bacon-themed necktie

What Dad Wants: Bacon


What Dad Gets: Shaving kit

What Dad Wants: A full pirate beard


What Dad Gets: A set of grilling tongs and spatula

What Dad Wants: A mysterious wizard to knock on the door and recruit him to go on an adventure to retrieve the red crystal and save the world


What Dad Gets: A baseball cap with all the kids' faces on it

What Dad Wants: A full suit of Roman legionary armor


What Dad Gets: A Top Golf gift card

What He Wants: An 850-acre ranch in Montana


What Dad Gets: A subscription to The Onion

What He Wants: A subscription to The Babylon Bee


What Dad Gets: Breakfast in bed

What He Wants: Breakfast in bed on a 19th-century British warship during the Napoleonic Wars


Hopefully, this will help give you a window into your dad's mind. Now be a good kid and go get him that battleship.


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