ST. PAUL, MN — Roused from his slumber at 3 A.M. by the sound of distant wailing, local Christian father Sam Franks rushed to his child's bedroom to see what was wrong. Though the child complained about seeing a monster in the closet, Franks assured the whimpering child there was no such thing, but it might be a demon.
"Look, there's nothing here in the closet, see?" the boy's father said, gesturing to a black abyss behind the closet doors. "But demons are a very real spiritual force and could be invisible. It might be that."
"Well, good night, son."
Moments later, when the boy came rushing to the master bedroom for comfort, Franks was incredulous. "Did you just leave your brother in there with a demon?!" he asked.
Though experts have said a near-constant fear of monsters in closets or under beds is common among young kids, for devoted Christian fathers like Franks, it's a theological teaching opportunity.
"I can't just lie to him," he later explained. "Yeah, maybe there wasn't a demon in there, but what kind of father and spiritual leader would I be if it turned out there actually was? Boy, would my face be red!"
At publishing time, young Jimmy Franks was no longer afraid of monsters and was only afraid of his father, though Sam Franks argued it was likely the result of demonic influence.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
