CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - In a touching naturalization ceremony today, hundreds of legal immigrants took their oaths of allegiance to the United States and became legal American citizens after years of hard work, following the rules, and prayer.
What a bunch of idiots!
Apparently, this bunch of naive morons had no idea the southern border is wide open for them to just saunter across any time they wish! Too bad!
According to legal experts, the fastest and easiest way to partake in the bountiful blessings of America is just to sneak across the border with trafficked children and yell "asylum!" whenever the border patrol draws near. Then you can work and get tax-free under-the-table pay, government benefits, and even a driver's license!
It looks like no one told these poor souls though. They spent their entire life savings, worked for years, took the citizenship test, and now they will have to work hard and start businesses and follow the rules. Like a bunch of suckers.
According to sources, they will now work the rest of their lives to pay for the free government benefits for people streaming across the southern border. The joke's on them!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
