DAVOS — Elites have gathered at the World Economic Forum to discuss the latest ways to fix all the world's problems while also making themselves extremely rich at the expense of the poor. In the keynote speech, Klaus Schwab announced that this year's topic of discussion would be how to make eggs dramatically more expensive.
"In order to reduce ze vorld's carbon footprint ve must make ze eggs more expensive and ultimately eliminate ze chickens. Also, increasing human suffering and breaking ze vill of ze poor is quite amusing!" said Klaus Schwab while speaking at the World Economic Forum. "Ze age of eggs is over. Ze time of eating bugs is now."
According to sources, the elites considered several appealing options for making the world a better place while also increasing human hardship and suffering as much as possible. "What if we poison and kill all the cows? Nah, too soon for that. I guess we should slow our roll," said one WEF attendee. "Maybe we can get Dr. Fauci to release another virus, or tell everyone they can only go outside on Tuesdays, or offer $100 to anyone who jumps off a bridge."
Many in the public responded by asking why we have to listen to these guys and why they get to say how much eggs cost.
At publishing time, the attendees were dismissed for lunch where they feasted upon poached eggs, while all the servants were forced to eat crickets.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.