THE EAST — According to sources, the wives of the Three Wise Men questioned their husbands over their self-proclaimed title, "The Three Wise Men."
"I dunno, that's what all the people at the Nativity were calling us," said Balthazar shortly after returning from his visit to see the Christ child. "We thought it was kinda catchy, so that's what we decided to call ourselves."
"Wait, what?" asked Mezikiah, wife of Gaspar (Wise Man Number Two). "Wise Man? I dunno. I saw you trying to use baking soda last week in a flatbread recipe…do you know what flatbread is, Honey? Adding baking soda to it isn't wise. Nor is trying to tie your camel to the side of our tent. Our tent is made of canvas and that thing is 4 thousand pounds. If it bolts the whole house goes with him. Definitely not wise. And another thing…"
The wives of the remaining Wise Men were equally as skeptical.
"Balthazar is great," Heshka, wife of Wise Man Number One, said. "But wise? I don't think that's the word I would use to describe him. He's sweet but sometimes when I've been telling him a story for twenty or thirty minutes he sort of stares into space and I think maybe he isn't listening to me. It's hard to tell."
At publishing time, The Magi's wives also asked where the gold, frankincense, and myrrh they'd been saving for Christmas when their mothers were coming to visit had gone.
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