Video Game Theologians Confirm Satan To Begin Flashing Bright Red Just Before Final Defeat
Theology · Sep 27, 2018 ·

U.S. - A panel of the nation's top video game theologians confirmed Thursday that Satan will likely begin flashing a bright red color just before his final defeat at the hands of Christ.

"We'll know King Jesus is ready to deal Satan's final form the killing blow once the Deceiver cries out in anguish and begins rapidly flashing a shade of red," said Dr. Cliff Peters, head of Video Game Theology at Liberty University. "That visual pattern will indicate his HP is almost totally gone, finally."

Interpreting Revelation chapter 20 and other key eschatological texts, the panel also unanimously agreed that Jesus would be using a special "Final Smash" fire attack to finish Lucifer off.

"It looks like the Savior will kill off Satan's minions with a Level 100 Firestorm, and then move in for the fatality," said Peters, referencing Revelation 20:9-10. "It's a smart move - everyone knows you want to get rid of the pesky minions to eliminate their healing abilities and avoid a Zerg rush."

While video game scholars couldn't agree whether this all occurred after a literal 1,000-year period or if it was intended metaphorically, they all confirmed that Jesus will certainly attain "the best of all possible endings."

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