ATLANTA, GA — After collecting each person's offering this morning, ushers at Second Baptist Church proceeded to flip around an iPad to ask congregants if they would also like to include a tip.
"If you could just answer the questions on the screen," said usher Dean Kraft. "Thanks! See you next week, Ethel."
Congregants were reportedly given the option of several different pre-calculated tip options based on the size of their offering. "You can also add a custom tip option at the bottom," explained Mr. Kraft to the third pew. "Then it will ask if you would like a receipt. Oh, almost forgot - would you like to round up your offering today for charity?"
Questions quickly arose among worshippers regarding the proper etiquette for tipping on an offering. "What do you tip an usher? Is ten percent a serious faux pas?" asked ninth-row stalwart Mrs. Everly. "I mean, all they do is collect the money. But I don't know if they will see how much I tip! Agh, this is so uncomfortable."
At publishing time, offering collection had ground to a halt after yet another elderly parishioner wrote on the iPad with a pen.
Should you get your kid the new iPhone 14? Of course.