Hey there! Thank you for shopping with us today! It's my pleasure to serve you! Just go ahead and scan your first item and place it in the bag right there. Once you're finished, you can -

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!

Please remove the item from the bagging area and scan it. Ahh, that's better. Anyway, are you using any coupons today? We have a great sale on -

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!

Hey man, not cool. What are you tryin' to pull here? Are you some kind of crook? This is NOT the proper way to operate a self-checkout machine. Please just take the item and -

BROOOO YOU PUT ANOTHER UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!
PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE!
PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE!

Yeah, now you have to wait 15 minutes for someone to punch in a password so you can keep checking out. That'll show ya. Crime doesn't pay, buddy. Wait - you're getting cough medicine?

PLEASE SHOW YOUR ID TO THE ATTENDANT
PLEASE SHOW YOUR ID TO THE ATTENDANT 
PLEASE SHOW YOUR ID TO THE ATTENDANT

*EXPLODES*

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.