Twitter A Pretty Pleasant Place To Work Now That All The Angry Leftists Are Quitting In Protest
Tech ยท Apr 8, 2022

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Social media platform Twitter experienced an uptick in turnover in the last week ever since Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk joined the board of directors. According to sources, enraged leftists are quitting in protest, subsequently creating a pleasant work environment around the office.

"Twitter is the best place to work right now," said Kurt Herald, a conservative coder who previously hid in the office basement. "I'm able to express opinions and talk about movies without being called racist and heteronormative. It's surreal."

Herald has since taken over the corner office vacated by his multi-colored hair compatriot who he wasn't sure was a man or woman.

The FCC has expressed concern over Twitter's staff exodus with some suggesting Russia may be involved.

"Twitter may soon become a frightening place where users can say things that offend my sensibilities. That's not a world I want to live in," said FCC official Mx. Krill Talon.

Meanwhile, Twitter has invited the remaining employees to participate in a friendly company picnic where there will be a kickball tournament and free hot dogs.


Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.

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