SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With less than six months to go before residents vote to elect the state's next leader, the latest polls showed that a turd on a San Francisco sidewalk was now in second place to become California's governor.
Among the candidates left in the race, likely voters said that the turd seemed to be near the top of the list of most promising options.
"The poo is starting to stand out from the field," said California resident Sean Newell. "There are a lot of different candidates to choose from, but after looking at our options, I'm starting to think that electing the sidewalk turd is the way to go."
The group of strongest candidates features a pair of Republicans, six Democrats, and the piece of sidewalk excrement. "It looked like it was going to end up being a Democrat running away with the race," said political analyst Bert Harbinson. "But voters seem to be warming up to the idea of electing the sidewalk turd, which they see as the next best thing to choosing a Democrat, only with slightly less corruption. If things continue as they have been, we may see the turd take a commanding lead in the polls by the time November rolls around. I smell a potential upset."
Experts predicted that the turd could drop a bomb on the entire race, leaving Democrat candidates' hopes in the toilet.
At publishing time, a follow-up poll of likely voters showed that the sidewalk turd already had a significantly higher approval rating than Gavin Newsom.
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