U.S. — The party responsible for appointing a Transportation Secretary whose only relevant experience was an apparent love of toy trains has declared Trump's cabinet picks "unqualified."
The Democratic Party, fresh off appointing a dude who wears dresses as a health minister, a guy who steals women's luggage as nuclear weapons officer, and a Joker-costume-wearing lesbian who can't answer questions as Press Secretary, felt that Trump's choices did not have the proper credentials for their jobs.
"President-Elect Trump has beclowned himself with these appointments," said Senator Elizabeth Warren, handing her makeup bag to Admiral Levine. "These are serious roles with real responsibilities. We need the absolute best, and -- hey, has anyone seen my luggage?"
Fox News correspondent Peter Doocy asked if the White House had any official statement about Trump's selections, to which Karine-Jean Pierre screamed, "I'm gay" and ran out of the room sobbing.
At publishing time, the people responsible for Afghan civilians hanging on to a cargo plane's wheel well stated that Trump's choice for Secretary of Defense was incompetent.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
