OTAY MESA, CA—At a press conference Wednesday, President Trump assured the public that the coronavirus is under control. He also stated that the threat of the virus has now changed the design of his wall on the Mexican border, as Trump has ordered that the steel slats that compose it be moved closer together so that the coronavirus can’t slip through.
“This wall will be coronavirus-proof,” Trump stated. “The virus is going to come to the border and be like, ‘I’m going to infect Americans!’ But then it will see our beautiful wall and be like, ‘Guess I’ll just have to stay here and infect Mexicans or go farther south and infect people in like Portugal or something.’”
Trump had already previously asked for a redesign of the wall when he found out that the slats were far enough apart that squirrels could slip through, as he reportedly said, “America already has enough squirrels and we don’t need any Mexican squirrels.”
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.