WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an unprecedented attack on democracy, former President Donald Trump has managed to sneak back into the White House hidden within a gigantic Trojan ice cream cone.
Experts suggest this may be the fulfillment of prophecy that foretold the glorious return of the true President who actually won the "rigged, total disaster" of an election.
"WOW! Chocolate chocolate chip!" said President Biden as the massive frozen confection was rolled across the White House lawn up to his front door. Overcome with desire, Biden dove face-first into the cone and began to try to swallow it whole like an anaconda.
With Biden distracted, Trump has taken up residence in the Oval Office and is now issuing executive orders.
While experts acknowledge this is a serious Constitutional crisis, they have so far been unable to coax Trump out from behind the Resolute Desk and have failed in pulling Biden off the ice cream cone.
Kamala Harris has been asked to run the country until authorities figure out what to do, but thus far they have been unable to remove her from the local doughnut shop.