WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House security is in turmoil after it was revealed that former President Donald Trump had snuck back into the White House by disguising himself as a trans TikTok star.
The former president reportedly infiltrated the west wing under the guise of alter ego Daisy Sax and was only discovered after Biden sniffed his hair.
"Yes, hello Sleepy Joe, er, I mean — Mr. President," said Trump, batting his false eyelashes at Biden. "I'm a very pretty trans lady. Totally pretty and beautiful. All the other TikTok stars, not even close, believe me."
Trump then began rifling through Biden's desk looking for classified documents.
"Whoa, Jack, something doesn't smell right!" Biden reportedly said, alarmed. "No, I'm serious. You smell like a man, man!"
The TikTok star was then tackled by twelve Secret Service agents. Officials are now trying to determine how Trump managed to breach tight security. They have invited thirteen trans TikTok stars to the White House to help them figure out what went wrong.
At publishing time, Donald Trump was escorted out of the White House. The three executive orders he signed during his brief stay were shredded.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
