WASHINGTON, D.C.—After tweeting this morning that airplane controls are far too complex, President Donald Trump proposed an alternative solution: replacing all current control schemes with the "baddest controller of them all: the Power Glove."
Under Trump's proposal, federal law would mandate that all the complex computers and instruments airplane pilots have to learn how to operate will be replaced by the NES accessory from the 1980s.
"I love the Power Glove---it's so bad," Trump said. "And I mean bad the way that cool people say it, like good. Good-bad. It's a real bad controller--but you know, good."
The president pointed out that the Power Glove has "sick" motion controls and you can reach your other hand across your body and press the buttons as well. "It's really good for Ninja Gaiden, Super Mario Bros. 3, and Rad Racer---so why not for piloting a big aircraft? Simple. Very simple."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.