Trump Preemptively Pens Dying Wish Canceling Out RBG's Dying Wish
Politics · Oct 2, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Lying ill in the White House, Trump weakly asked for a pen and paper. Once these had been retrieved for him, he wrote out his dying wish -- just in case the worst should happen -- canceling out Ruth Bader Ginsburg's dying wish.

"I, Donald Trump, your favorite president, hereby state that my dying wish is for Amy Coney Barrett to be confirmed to the Supreme Court," Trump wrote as friends and family looked on somberly. "She's a great nominee. The best, maybe ever. That Kavanaugh guy was alright, he was pretty good. But Barrett is the real deal."

Legal scholars frantically tried to find a loophole so the nation could honor Ginsburg's dying wish but not the president's, but unfortunately for them, the plan was foolproof. "We are forced to honor this as legitimate," they said. "There's no way around it. Since we accepted Ginsburg's dying wishes as constitutional law, now Trump's are also legitimate. Should have thought that one through."

At publishing time, Trump had further wished for infinite dying wishes.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.